Tag Archives: friends

What kind of Champagne Glasses?

March 11, 2017 Fran Comment

Easy hints and tips for the “right” champagne glass for your party.

It’s a little joke between wine drinkers that the best glass for wine is always the one that you’re holding. No matter if it’s one of those little plastic cups hosts might use to serve at a casual backyard gathering or the elegant stemless glasses that they use at your favorite café bar, when you love wine, and you’re drinking a good one, especially Champagne, it almost doesn’t matter how it is served. But, even if you’re OK at the moment with the plastic cup in your hand, you always want to know how the wine you want to offer should be served.

For example – what if you want to host a caviar and Champagne tasting party like I did a few days ago. What glasses do you set out for something like that?

First, the good news: there is no shortage of places to go to find them and no shortage on selection. Second, there are three glass types for serving Champagne: flute, coupe, or tulip wine glass. If you can’t find a tulip shaped glass, then a white wine glass will do very well.

The Fluted Glass

The flute glass (with its tall narrow shape) is the traditional shape for champagne. The shape of the bowl helps encourage a lot of bubbles to rise to the surface and show off the fine effervescence of bubbles. But there’s more to Champagne than just bubbles. I may use fluted glasses for young wines, but not for a good vintage.

The ‘problem’ with the flute is that it tends to short-change the experience a little, especially if you want to drink a good vintage Champagne. The small top of the flute doesn’t allow much air space for the aroma to collect and enhance the flavor. Because there is so little of the surface exposed to air, the flute limits your ability to thoroughly appreciate the aromas and flavors that the winemaker worked so hard to put in your glass.

There’s always the novelty of the coupe glass. They are elegant looking, and some of them are even fantastic works of art. I have a set of very simple crystal ones with tall stems from Iittala. This glass style was popular back in the early 20th century – think flapper girls, glossy hair, and the Charleston. The coupe was originally designed to showcase a Champagne style that was also popular then – a sweet bubbly dessert wine – which is fine if that’s what you want to do. However, it’s not right for the style of Champagne that is produced today.

The Coupe Glass

I think that the coupe is a little like the flute glass – there are just some things it doesn’t do well. It can’t capture the beauty of the Champagne, especially the ones that are currently being produced. The wide shallow bowl doesn’t let the bubbles develop as they would in a taller glass, so they come to the large surface quickly, burst and are all gone before you’ve finished your glass. But the worst problem is the large surface area at the top of the bowl means that too much air meets the wine and both bubbles and aroma (and much of the taste) are lost quickly.

That’s why experts – the connoisseurs of wine – have moved away from the flute glass and novelty coupe for enjoying fine aged sparkling. They want to enjoy what the winemakers put into the wine. By using the proper glass, you get to showcase the artistry of the wine: the aroma, the palate, and the look. That’s why if I’m serving an excellent aged sparkling wine, I want my guests to enjoy it from either a wide tulip shape or a white wine shaped glass.

The White Wine Glass (alternative for the Tulip Glass).

The tulip glass gives you just enough length and surface area so that bubbles can burst at the same time. When it is filled to no higher than two-thirds full – you’ll have plenty of room to capture those aromas at the top of the glass. The wider bowl allows more room for the aeration of the wine. The flavors develop better when the narrower rim captures and holds those aromas in the glass for you to enjoy. If you can’t find the tulip shape, then a white wine glass will suffice. Tulip glasses are similar enough in shape to a white wine glass, only wider at the bowl and slightly narrower at the top.

Last, but not least, I have a few suggestions for your party. There are three brands of Champagne/sparkling wine that I love and will always recommend: Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame (a bold style for a strong statement), Ruinart Blanc de Blancs (for a big impression on your guests) and Gruet Sparkling from New Mexico (my go-to sparkling for those informal gatherings).

For glasses, I recommend three – the Baccarat Crystal flute, the Iittala Crystal coupe, or a simple white wine glass from Crate and Barrel.

Enjoy!

Food

Drinks and Snacks for Your Super Bowl Party!

February 2, 2017 Fran Comment

Cool Drinks and Great Snacks for Your #Superbowl – #SB51

I’ve tried all kinds of ways of hosting a Super Bowl party. You can go the route of a big meal – one or two big dishes. Another way is to line up some cool drinks and have lots of savory snacks on hand.

Mix up a batch of “Minty Moscow Mule Punch” for your Super Bow party. From Real Simple.

This approach gives everyone some variety and easy choices. They’re also good for the ‘quick snap’ as a friend of mine likes to describe it – one cup, one napkin, and you’re off and running back to the big screen.

It’s important to serve beverages that will go best with whatever menu you’ve planned. If your crowd likes sodas and beer then set up a couple of ice filled coolers with bottled sodas (more fun than cans) and some interesting beers (perhaps a Belgian ale, a local craft beer and a lager).

If your crowd is more into a full bar, then set up / mix some batch cocktails that you can serve in a pitcher so you aren’t playing bartender all day. Here’s a great drink recipe for a Minty Moscow Mule Punch that is very popular. Or what about White Negroni Punch (see featured photo above). Remember – make these well before your guests show up.

Don’t forget to have enough ice on hand. Start making ice the day before and fill up gallon ziplock bags with ice cubes so you’ll have a head start. I use this party guideline: 2 pounds of ice per person for a party.

Even if I decide to bring in platters of sandwiches and salads I will always make some snacks to put my personal touch on the party. Important rule for Super Bowl snacks – make more than enough. Nothing is worse than running out in the middle of halftime. I love these four recipes – they really hit the spot:

A plate of “Cacio e Pepe Chips” from Bon Appetit. Make a lot. They’re addicting!

Cacio e Pepe Chips – featuring kettle-cooked chips and grated percorino! Great with just about any beer.

Sweet and Spicy Mixed Nuts – this is an absolute winner. You can prepare this recipe 2 days ahead of your party.

Spiced Popcorn with Pecans and Raisins – a real head-turner at my parties. And, habit-forming. Plan on your guests eating two or three servings a piece so if you’re doing this one make sure you make a lot!

Buffalo Wing Popcorn – no kidding, what a combo. Another addicting dish.

I always recommend that you not use your regular dinnerware for these kinds of gatherings. But try (really try) to resist the urge to use paper plates. Not only are your average grocery store disposables kinda flimsy, they’re really ugly. I mean, seriously! I get my disposables (plates, cutlery, and cups) from EMI Yoshi. They’re plastic, recyclable, AND they’re really cool looking. Find them on Amazon.

Have a great time!

Home Entertaining, Food, Lifestyle

Perfect Chili or Stew, for your Super Bowl Party

January 25, 2017 Fran Comment

Hot Recipe Ideas for your Super Bowl Party

I can’t tell you how many Super Bowl Parties I have thrown (too many to count!) but I can tell you my secrets to making sure your guests have the best time all while you’re able to enjoy the party too. Because, really, what’s the point of throwing a great party if you can’t have fun too? Even if you’re not the biggest football fan, there will be plenty of others with the same outlook on the game that you have for you to catch up with while everyone else is cheering for their favorite team. If you plan this right, you will be doing exactly that – enjoying your own party!

My first rule, no matter what kind of party I’m throwing, is to pick out my menu while remembering what activities will be going on. For a Super Bowl party, everyone is going to want to be in front of the TV while they’re eating and not at a table. So, make sure that whatever you plan to serve does NOT require any cutting. People will be eating on their laps, the easier it is to eat, the less mess will end up on your sofa and rug. You also want to serve something that guests can serve themselves when the commercials come on.

Make a big pot of chili and keep it on the stove will all the fixings on the counter. Here’s a great recipe I found from Paula Deen for a Hearty Chili.

Or how about a beef stew to shake things up? I found this recipe a few years ago from Once Upon a Chef. Serve this one with a sliced crusty baguette to dip.

And remember, chili and stew always taste better the second day. So, you’ll want to make these the day before your party. Another secret? A taco bar set up on your kitchen table will work too!

One last tip, you don’t need to use China. In fact, don’t use China. You’ll be sorry if you do because you will need to do those dishes right when your guest are getting ready to leave! But, don’t use paper plates either. You need to make sure your plate/bowl will hold the weight of your food and not collapse.

For these kinds of events, I always use disposable bowls, plates, cups and cutlery by EMI Yoshi. You can find them on Amazon.

Go Team!

Home Entertaining, Lifestyle

Champagne Is NOT Just for Holidays

January 19, 2017 Fran 1 Comment

Spread the cheer any day – Schramsberg Cremant Demi-Sec

New Year’s has come and gone. Time to pack up the champagne glasses for another year (or the next wedding)? Are you kidding me? I hope you are!

The party’s only just started! What better way to celebrate all of those relationships you’ve gathered around the table than with a glass of bubbles.

A Schramsberg wine master explains the process of making sparkling wines during a session of Camp Schramsberg in the wine caves.

The fact is, sparkling wine or champagne can be enjoyed at ANY meal with ANY food even a big steak. You just have to have the right bottle! One that stands out for me is Schramsberg’s Crémant Demi-Sec.

First you need to know that only wines that come from the Champagne region of France can legally be called “champagne.” Schramsberg is from the Calistoga area of Napa Valley and the owners of Schramsberg Vineyard use the Methôde Champenoise (translation: the champagne method used in France) to create all of their sparkling wines.

Schramsberg has been producing their award winning sparkling wines since 1965 and has been honored to serve them in every White House administration since Richard Nixon. One of the really cool things about Schramsberg is that they offer a unique experience to learn all about their wines.

One of the perks of owning a restaurant is that you get invited to participate in some very special events. Camp Schramsberg is one of those that I’ll never forget. I had no clue it even existed. It’s a three-day experience they have twice a year (once in the Spring for “bud” or when the grapes are just beginning to grow and once in the Fall for harvest). Anyone can sign up for camp and attend-it is not restricted to only people in “the trade.” When I went, almost half of the participants were just people who love wine.

What’s really fun about this experience is that they hold it in their winery caves, out in the vineyards and also at the Meadowood Napa Valley Resort. I learned about Schramsberg’s history, of course, but also about sparkling wines in general and how they are made, was given an opportunity to learn how to properly prune the vines (it’s harder than it looks), how to saber a bottle-cut off the top of the bottle with a saber (easier than you think), eat a lot of great food and drink their amazing wines (even with steak!). It was at camp that my real love of sparkling wines blossomed and I learned some valuable lessons.

One of them is that you should never hold back for celebrations in your life. So, don’t hold back the champagne (or the sparkling wine) for the “big days.” Every day should be a celebration, and every day is an opportunity to show your appreciation to those people who you gather around your table.

So, don’t be stingy. Pop a cork and enjoy.

Friendships

End of Another Year, Start of New Possibilities

January 2, 2017 Fran Comment

Time to bring your Friends and Family together around your table!

Wow! How did it get to be January already? I’m always surprised by how quickly the year flies by and yet they are moving quicker and quicker and here it is – the start of another year. And, each year I’m also surprised by how much happens. This past one was absolutely no exception. Right? I’m not just thinking about stuff that happened in the news or around the world – although there was a lot of that. I’m thinking about all of the new friends that I’ve made and relationships that I started last year. I’m thinking about all of the people who have discovered the importance of being “around the table” with people who are closest to us, or maybe people we wish to bring closer.

We can all give lip service about how dear some people are to us, but the strongest way to “walk the walk” and not just “talk the talk” is to gather together for a meal, a snack or even just a cup of coffee. It doesn’t have to be a big meal or even a big deal at all – what it is, is the time spent together sharing around the table (or even a park bench at lunch). It’s how we draw together at meals. When it becomes a regular thing so much changes. Maybe someone will start making new recipes and others will want to be in the kitchen helping create for the shared experience. The main point is getting people together to share what is, for many of us, something we do well and too often alone.

Eating should be about more than just getting nourishment – you know – getting the calories in so that we can move through our day. It should be about feeding the soul with the very thing that makes us human and feel alive: connection to one another – love.

So… let’s toast to the new year, filled with health, happiness and blessings. Whatever last year has meant to you, make this new year the one where you draw your friends and family close together around your table!

Home Entertaining, Lifestyle

Fran’s Party Etiquette Rules – For Hosts (Part III)

December 28, 2016 Fran Comment

Fran’s 7 Golden Rules for Hosting a Party

How about a few rules for hosts? Okay, so the word “rules” might be a little heavy-handed. More like guidelines. This is a part of a series – I started with guest rules, then worked my way through a list of ideas of host gifts (very important). Now I’m on to my list of “rules” for hosting a party.

The whole goal is to avoid those things that can absolutely affect your party in a big way. Something will always happen, it can’t be avoided completely, but if you do try it will turn out better than if you didn’t. If you remember the big “rules,” then you can party on fearlessly!

Always make sure your house is set BEFORE your guests are due to arrive. Nothing makes people more uncomfortable than watching the host scrambling to finish those last few items.
Set a tray with glasses of sparkling/champagne/signature cocktail at the door so that when your guests arrive you can greet them with a welcoming glass of something. Nothing sets the mood for the party like this.
Just because a guest brings a bottle of something – you are not obligated to open it. This goes for food items too. Simply tell the guest that you’ve carefully planned the menu so you will save their special “——” for another time, or that you would love to share it with them on another occasion so it will be a special event for you and them.
I live in Southern California and you’d be amazed what some people do when they go to parties. This has happened to me and it even happened to a friend at their wedding. Your invited guest decides it perfectly fine to bring an “extra.” Be gracious to that “extra.” I am positive your friend told them it would be completely OK to come. It’s not the “extra’s” fault they’re there. Be welcoming to the “extra” and then take it up with your friend at a later time.
Make sure you have fully stocked the powder room/bathroom that the guests will use – you know toilet paper, Kleenex, soap, hand towels, and do NOT forget the plunger. There may be that moment that something has happened in there that needs immediate attention – you don’t want your guest to have to come looking for you!
I’m a big advocate of using candles for atmosphere – the more the merrier – but never use scented candles. You don’t know who’s got allergies (like me!) and believe me your guests will come “scented” enough.
Make sure your playlist matches your invitation. Your invitation tells everyone what your party will be like. If you send a formal invitation don’t be playing head banging music when your guests arrive. And, if you find that your guests are having to talk over the music – turn it down a notch.

Of course, the most important rule of all (maybe #8, which kinda goes back to #1) is to chill out, smile, and have a blast. Nothing sets the mood of the party better than a happy host.

Home Entertaining, Lifestyle

Fran’s Party Etiquette Rules – For Guests (Part I)

December 10, 2016 Fran Comment

6 Guest rules to keep you from becoming the party joke.

I love good parties, both throwing them and coming as a guest. They can be great fun (at least for me)! The most amazing thing is that with all of them that I’ve attended and many I have thrown, there’s always someone who ends up being “that guy.” You know, the one that everyone talks about the next day either because of something they did or didn’t do. They’ll make some faux pas by loudly making an inappropriate remark and then repeating it all night, or showing up with their “posse” when the invite clearly was for just them – it could be any number of bad moves and will be memorable depending on just how spectacular the fool decides to be about whatever he (or she) has done.

As carefree as we want to be at parties, there are some cultural rules – etiquette – for both Guest and Host. I’ve collected a few over the years. Call them “Fran’s Party Etiquette Rules” (catchy, don’t you think?). The list has gotten rather long, so I broke them down a bit over several posts (stay tuned!).

Let’s start with the rules that I hope will keep you from becoming the long-remembered party joke:

Never show up to a party empty handed – it’s kinda rude, so don’t do it. Some cultures have a very strong tradition about this – the Japanese even have a special name for such a gift – they call it “Omiyage.” The host has gone to a whole lot of effort to throw this thing – show some appreciation. Having said this there are a few guidelines about gifting that I’ll go through in a later post. Read it!
DON’T bring your own playlist of music unless the host has specifically dubbed you the party DJ. You don’t know what the host has planned and unless you want to wind up being disappointed (or embarrassed) by being asked NOT to mess with the music, just don’t do it.
If you spill something – tell the host/hostess IMMEDIATELY. Don’t run and make pretend you didn’t do it. The sooner it can be cleaned the better the outcome.
If your babysitter bales on you – DON’T bring the kids. Call with your apologies. Your kids don’t want to come to the party and the other adults there won’t be that comfortable either. Even if your host insists you bring them (unless it’s a BBQ in the afternoon) don’t do it. You will need to watch them all night – not great for you either. Just don’t.
Unless you’re are intending to help with the clean-up, and I mean really help not just follow the host around while they’re doing it, then leave before the party is over. My rule of thumb is that if there’s only about 20% of the guests left – it’s time to go.
Don’t look in the cabinets or closets – stuff is put away in there for a reason and it’s not for you to know.
DO NOT GET DRUNK! I know that one seems obvious but, as we all know, there’s always one. Don’t be the one.

Maybe you have a few of your own set of rules? Wanna share? Let me know! Remember, though, it’s not about the rules. To me, a party is just another table to gather around– maybe bigger than your average get-together but it’s always about “around the table” – coming together and showing appreciation to one another that counts most.

Home Entertaining, Food, Lifestyle

5 Rules for Throwing a Dinner Party That Never Ends

November 10, 2016 Fran Comment

Have a party that they’ll be talking about for years.

One of the best dinner parties I ever went to started at a normal hour, 7:30pm, but no one left until well after 1am! Nobody wanted to leave. The best part? The host didn’t want anyone to leave either! If you follow these very simple rules you can have a never ending dinner party that your friends will remember with love for years. If you get really good at it, you will be known as the dinner party queen/king and the envy of everyone you know.

Be careful of your guest list. That doesn’t mean to keep it to a specific number of guests but to pay attention to the mix of guests. Be aware of any tension between any of your friends and make sure you don’t stir that hornet’s nest-it won’t bode well for a convivial evening.

Serve dinner “family style.” When you try to create individual plates everything becomes more formal and that’s the exact opposite of your goal. You want everyone to be comfortable. When people need to “please pass the potatoes” it gets people talking to each other – a great way to encourage conversation. When you serve “family style” on large serving platters your guests are encouraged to have seconds or even just another bite of something.

Plan your menu with food that doesn’t need to be a certain temperature – food that is perfectly fine served at room temp. If you’ve ever had a large group over for a meal and you’ve tried to make sure that the last person served gets food that’s as hot as the first person served you will know exactly what I’m talking about. This way the food can stay on the table as long as you and your guests are at the table (which you want to be a long time!) and still taste great.

Make sure there is plenty of wine on the table for your guests to serve themselves. Don’t be precious with it – you don’t want to have rules about what is being poured when during the meal. Stick with bottles that are similar in flavor and body whether they are red or white – but make sure to have both opened. Leave those bottles on the table for easy refills by your guests. Be careful to not run out!

Candles are key. Atmosphere is the quickest way to turn your dinner with friends into a real party and candles do that effortlessly. Use candles of different heights on your table and light them ALL. The lighting changes as your night progresses from fresh candles that are newly lit to a soft glow from those that burn the longest. Be sure to have a lot of them as they will burn at different rates – only some will last all night but that just contributes to the wonderful atmosphere you want to have.

I promise that if you follow these 5 simple rules your next dinner party will be a greater success than you could have ever wished for. Enjoy!

Home Entertaining, Food, Lifestyle

Let’s Talk About Halloween!

October 26, 2016 Fran Comment

Halloween is not just for kids!

Halloween has been one of my favorite holidays (just after Chanukah – presents – duh!). It’s been that way since I’ve been old enough to go Trick or Treating. Oddly, even though I’m not a sweets person per se, I can’t get enough of the miniature candy that shows up this time of year. Almost any type of candy, I’ll even eat black licorice. Incidentally, if it’s licorice, I always prefer Red Vines, in case anyone is curious.

I went Trick or Treating all the way through my High School years. There’s nothing like a pillow case with holes cut into it (you gotta be able to see!) for a quick costume solution. I can’t say that I’ve been Trick or Treating since those High School days but I do love a good Halloween party and it’s that time of year again! There’s a couple of rules that need to be followed if you’re going to plan one too.

The very first thing you have to decide is what kind of party are you having. Every other rule follows from this one decision. Is it a party for friends with children and everyone is going out to Trick or Treat together afterwards or is it just for the adults? Just know that if you want to have an adult party on Halloween and the friends you are inviting have children that will be going out Trick or Treating – they probably won’t be coming because they have to take their kids out!

So here are my rules for a successful Halloween party with the kids:

It has to start early enough for everyone to get to your house, eat something and still get out into the neighborhood before it gets dark. Little ones get scared and they have bed times! Or at least at my house they did.

Always make the food easy. You could do potluck but, if you’re like me at all and a bit of a control freak then – NOT!

Do bulk food – you know the kind that basically is easy to serve like a big pot of Chili on the stove with all of the fixings on the counter for everyone to help themselves, or a big platter of deli sandwiches and salads. Something quick and easy to eat. Definitely nothing that requires plating and sitting around a big table. The whole point is to get SOMETHING into the kids’ tummies before they are faced with all of that inviting candy.

Use paper plates, cups, etc. You want to have fun too. No cleanup is seriously the only way to go here.

And here are my rules for a successful Halloween party for adults:

The best day to have an adult Halloween party is the Saturday BEFORE Halloween – for a couple of reasons. For one thing, nobody is excited for Halloween AFTER Halloween – only before! You can set up on Friday, party on Saturday, break down and recover on Sunday. Even if the adults that are invited have children they won’t need to take them Trick or Treating on the Saturday BEFORE Halloween.

There are so many places to find ideas for really cool food for Halloween. Look to Pinterest first. You will find a lot of fun and easy recipes for finger food in particular. One of the funniest I saw was a take on Pigs in a Blanket – still using hotdogs and crescent rolls but in a very clever way.

Be VERY CAREFUL if you’re planning on using dry ice for anything (it’s the usual way to get “smoke” on a drink). Dry ice – which is much colder at -109.3 F than regular ice – can cause serious burns due to frostbite if you don’t handle it properly with insulated gloves. I’m not using any dry ice in any drinks I make.

Find fun things to put in your drinks – I went to Amazon and found “eyeball” ice cubes. They’re shaped and look like bloodshot eyes that you can freeze and then use as “ice” in your drinks.

To Theme or Not To Theme – That is the question! Themes and costumes are fun but just know that you may get a few people that won’t come because they don’t want to “dress up” (sad but true) and even some who will come but show up in street clothes for the same reason. NOT FUN!! There are so many themes – some of my favorites are: Your favorite ghost – TV or otherwise, dead celebrities, a character that starts with the first letter of your first name, movie monsters, etc.

So the question is, what are you doing for Halloween and will it be as fun as you want it to be?

Friendships

I Propose a Ban on the word “Should”

October 13, 2016 Fran Comment

Stop saying “should” when you really mean “must.”

My Mother was a very smart lady. I didn’t realize it growing up. To be honest, we never realize how smart our parents are when we are young. By the time I really started to appreciate her wisdom and wit, she was gone (she died at 59 – too young). Thirty-two years later, I still hear her voice almost every day. Not exactly how she actually sounded – that disappeared a very long time ago. I hear her words and her clarity – especially when she needed to make a point very clear to me.

One thing that she used to say, and that I now repeat often: the word should needs to be removed from the English dictionary.

When my sons were young, I tried to never use that word with them. I wouldn’t let them use it in their everyday lexicon. I always worked with them to find a good substitute for whatever they were trying to say.

My mother hated that word because of what unspoken pressure came with it. If you think about it, when you say, “You should (do, be, say, etc.)” the listener hears something like, “If you don’t (do, be, say, etc.) then you are a bad person, or an unfeeling person, or an ignorant person or any number of other negative attributes that could be applied to the situation. “Should” often becomes a ‘pressure word’ that’s just filled with judgement. The reality is that when you place that kind of judgement on someone, you rarely get the result you were looking for. If you get what you want, then often it’s because the other person is feeling guilty or doesn’t want that negative attached to them. Either way, the other person is not acting because they feel that something different needs to happen. What you really want from them is an honest change in their behavior – not a change from outside pressure which won’t last.

So let’s all agree – we really should remove the word should from everything we say – we will all be better for it. My mother said so and she was a smart lady.

Friendships

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

September 24, 2016 Fran Comment

What happens when you put meaning behind your words.

I had some very interesting requests over the more than 20 years I owned my restaurants. The strangest one came from a mother who was eating brunch with a large group of people one Sunday. Her son, who was perhaps 6 or 7 years old, was running around the restaurant and had been generally disruptive for most of the time they were seated.

He ran up and down the aisles, pushed open the front doors without regard as to whether there were any people in the way. He hopped in between tables, disturbed other guests, and was generally ill-behaved in every way possible. A busy restaurant is a dangerous place to be running in the aisles and jumping around – for a boy, patrons, and staff. There is a continual stream of heavy plates with hot food on them coming out of the kitchen. My staff was having a hard time avoiding collisions with boy. My manager asked the mother several times to please have her son sit in his chair or at the very least stay at their table for his own safety and the safety of others around him. The woman looked at my manager, then glanced at her rampaging child with hopeless eyes, and shrugged. “What can I do?” she said.

Eventually, as the problem persisted, I finally asked my manager what was going on. He told me that they had all tried to get the boy under control. I decided to go speak to the mother myself, the situation was getting worse not better.

I approached the woman, told her I was the owner and was concerned about the safety of her child. I then asked her to please keep him in his seat or at the least at his chair. Her response me caught me completely by surprise. In a very soft voice she said, “Can you please tell him? He won’t listen to me.” I repeated her request back to her just to make sure I hadn’t misheard and she confirmed her wish that I speak to him. While the request was shocking, I was more than happy to comply. You see, I’ve never had a problem with saying what I mean – and making sure that people knew it.

I stepped in front of the running boy and wouldn’t let him pass so he had to stop. I crouched down, looked him squarely in the eye, and said in a quiet, but very firm voice, “Stop running, go back to your chair, and do not move from it until your mother is ready to leave.” I confess it may have been the same tone I used when I trained my 100 pound Akitas, but I do know for a fact my voice was quiet – and for a 7 year old boy – somewhat intimidating. He quickly went back to his chair and did NOT move for the rest of their meal. He would get up and down from his chair but he stayed right in his place and did not move away. Every so often he would look to see if I was paying attention. I would catch his eye, he would drop his gaze and not move from his seat.

You see if you always say what you mean and mean what you say, something incredible happens: people believe you – especially children and dogs. It’s just easier that way.

Friendships

A Friendship Can’t Rely on Mind Reading

September 1, 2016 Fran Comment

Can your friends levitate at will? Why should they read your mind?

I’m always surprised when someone is upset because a friend didn’t “just know” what they wanted or what they would do in a given circumstance. “Why didn’t he/she just know how to…” – and you can fill in the blank. The situation may range from truly trivial things to serious situations. And their big surprise is that a friend – without knowing anything – missed a big opportunity to prove the depth of their friendship.

I’ve never understood why people think that others can read their minds. Why not just levitate off the ground or use the heat beam from their eyes? Okay, so that’s over the top – but really – ? It’s like a competition. They’re not satisfied with normal relationships and normal ways of communication – “friends” have to be god-like. And that’s just plain silly.

If you want help with something or want another person to do something for you, with you, at you etc. then you’d better speak up and make sure your friend knows what you expect. It just doesn’t make sense to me that friends can’t be clear in their needs from the other person but feel perfectly entitled to be upset when the other person doesn’t already know what is needed from them. Really, I just don’t get it.

Personally, I’d be totally creeped out if my friends could read my mind – I mean, seriously. Isn’t that some kind of stalking? Just sayin.

Do not count on mind reading to get you what you want from a friendship – period. The Great Carnac only worked on late night TV for Johnny Carson. Well, actually sometimes not so great for him either!