People tell me that I’m really nice. Friends say that I’m very supportive and that they call me for opinions because they know I’ll be honest with them. They know that I will always tell them what I believe but that I’ll try to do it in a way that they can hopefully hear. At my age, I’ve learned that sometimes a good “edit” is needed before I actually speak-otherwise it might not go so well.
But, what truly amazes me is how surprised they are when after I’ve been pushed to my limit, how really scary I can be. Ask my kids – they’ll tell you they always knew when they went one step too far by just looking at my face.
Never mistake my kindness for weakness.
This year, the holidays snuck up on me.
Usually I’ve finished my shopping for gifts long before everyone else, am feeling quite smug about it and am ready to put on my dancing shoes. This year, not so much and, to my surprise, I’ve been hit with a slight case of the “holiday blues.”
It might have had something to do with my being out of my home (that I lived in less than a year) for over 3 months due to a flood and dealing with construction. Or perhaps it is because that was my third move in as many years, or maybe it’s my decision to retire from my restaurants that I’ve owned for more than 20 years to start a new career, or maybe it was just actually succumbing to a case of those holiday blues that seem to affect a lot of us. In any case, and no matter the reason, it’s been a surprise – and now I’m going to do something about it.
If you know me, I am never one to stay low for long. I always have a cure right on hand. And nothing’s better for the holiday blues than some traveling. I got myself invited to a girlfriend’s house for Christmas Eve, complete with plans for Chinese food for Christmas Day. Then I’ll move on to see another friend for dinner and a movie. And I’m going to keep traveling – deal with my ‘blueness’ one day at a time until the holidays are finally over and I can start a new year.
Haven’t figured out New Year’s Eve yet, though. I’ll bet it means another trip.
Are you driving yourself crazy over things that are beyond control?
Anybody that knows me knows that I can be a little bit of a controlling Type A personality. Actually, some of you may think “little bit” doesn’t really apply! Ha Ha! Oh well, some things may never change I guess, but one of the things I have tried very hard to change about myself over the years is to make my best effort to not get crazy over what I cannot control. This has been a real challenge that I work on all the time.
My latest challenge has been with the result of a flood that happened in my apartment at the end of August. You think, how long could it take to make a simple repair in a wall and then just dry out the small area of your new wood floor (less than a year old) that actually got wet? As it turns out, a whole lot longer than I thought AND I had to actually move out for the repair. I will be out of my apartment for about three months! My entire living room and kitchen have had to be completely destroyed, entire wood floor removed in both rooms and kitchen cabinets/counters destroyed and removed. Of course, now all of that has to be replaced – time is not your friend with this process.
Here’s the really hard part. I had no control over the actual flood. I couldn’t have prevented it but am really glad I was actually at home when it started, and I have no control over how long it will take to finish the repairs and be able to move back home. Making my best effort to accept the fact that I have no control and just do my best to make the decisions on the repairs as they are brought to me has made this whole life upset a lot easier.
Trying to control everything around you, including those things over which you have absolutely no control (my flood), is a serious recipe to drive you crazy and keep it in your life as a constant. Crazy is not a good life companion – it sucks way too much energy.
Sometimes, out of this “letting go” can come silver linings. In this case, I get a new kitchen that I will love that will replace one that was not functional (a lot of my pots and pans lived in my oven because they didn’t have a place that fit them). I would have lived with my existing kitchen and would never have voluntarily gone through the chaos of redoing it.
So, the trick is… realize you can’t control everything around you, look for the silver lining and most importantly of all… BREATHE!!