Sometimes, You Have to Let Go and Move On
This took me a long time to figure out but I’m going to share it so it won’t take anyone else forever to realize this truth. You cannot, and I mean cannot in every sense of the word, make a friend care about anything. You can’t make them care about you or what’s happening in your life and for sure you can’t make them care about themselves and what’s happening in their lives if they don’t want to.
If you’ve ever had an addict, drugs or alcohol or anything else, in your family or if they’re a friend you’ve come up against this. It is one of the hardest things to deal with. It is human nature to want to help, to “fix” whatever is wrong – at least it’s mine.
It happened with a friend of mine a long time ago and until that person decided to deal with their own issue it didn’t get resolved. I was lucky; they did decide to change before their behavior killed them. The old saying that someone has to hit bottom before they can find their way up is very true.
But, I’ve also been faced with a friend who was participating in some really bad behavior who was convinced they were just fine and didn’t want or need help to quit. It didn’t matter how many wonderful talks we would have on the subject where they would agree that perhaps they weren’t really being that wise in their choices and I would be hopeful that they would change.
I finally had to give up on them and remove them from my life. I gave up not because I didn’t care about them anymore but because they didn’t care about themselves. I had to recognize it and accept it. Cutting them out of my life wasn’t easy, it sure didn’t mean I still didn’t love them but it did make my life easier. You can only hit your head against a brick wall so many times before you realize that if you stop you’ll feel better.